Hallelujah

there is a moment that is frozen in your mind forever
of spinning around as your heart falls into your stomach
of opening your eyes as the flood gates burst
of holding yourself in and holding your head up until the first note plays

you cannot erase it
it’s crystal clear beside its contemporary haze
but even if you could
you wouldn’t
it’s become a defining moment
and you won’t wish it away
even if you would the rest to disappear

but it’s too short to dwell on
and it’s too sore to share

so you will hold that frozen moment forever to your chest
where the glass cuts into your throat

but you don’t mind
because it’s become your anthem
and you sing along to it when you’re alone
and never skip it when it plays
and it is only proof of how resilient you are
that you have taken that moment and frozen it
so you can stay spinning and never stop

the glass stills cuts into your throat
but with every incision the lodge wedged inside is snipped away
until you can breathe through the water breaking over your head
and you can breathe after your lungs are pulled from your ribs
by a heart that is beating too hard

one day you will freeze another moment
and just like this one
you will frame it in your eyes
and recreate it until it no longer hurts to remember

and you will marvel at all the songs you have left behind in your trail of hearts

and hallelujah will always make you cry

– Chanel

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